Victim of the Tradition

By Nurilya

When I studied at school I had a classmate. She studied excellently. She planned to be a doctor in the future. Her family was big. There were five daughters and no boys in her family. It troubled her father. He thought a boy would be his heir. The role of a boy is more important than a girl in our Kyrgyz family. She and her sisters loved their father best of all and respected him.

After finishing school she entered the university. She studied very well at the university. Then one day her countryman kidnapped her and abducted her for marriage. She was shocked and didn’t expect such an outcome. She wanted to run away and threatened suicide. She even argued that she had a boyfriend, but all in vain.

The role of the relatives is big too in the life of a Kyrgyz person. Her relatives made her stay. They said your father blessed you. If you refuse our family would be shamed. She eventually gave in. Gradually their marriage was crashing. Several times she tried to kill herself. Eventually he set her free.

This is just one example. According to some estimates, upwards of 30 percent of the country’s married women have been snatched from the street by their husbands in a custom known as "ala kachuu" which translates roughly as "grab and run."
According to some estimates in the Naryn region alone an estimated 55 percent of all women were abducted against their will and forced into marriage. Only 10 percent of abducted women dared to stand for their rights and leave their abductors.

A majority of men kidnapping girls kidnap them whether she knows him or not. Sometimes it happens that she has never seen him or never heard about him. Such abductions exist particularly in rural areas.

I consider bride kidnapping as gender-based violence. Everybody has a right to live, to choose, to speak, to rest, to be educated. Women’s rights are violated by not giving the right to a woman to choose her future husband. All democratic countries provide for and protect people’s rights and freedoms. But in our country the rights and freedoms of people are not protected by the government.

The main problem is that the mentality of the people is not ready. If the girl refuses marriage the local society will curse her. In Jalal-abad it was revealed the in every 10 divorces registered, seven were in families founded through bride kidnapping.

It is necessary to end such kind of traditions which gainsay the rights and freedom of the person. My opinion is negative. We must not keep such abductions which spoil women’s life.